Mom is Just a Nickname

No word count to report at this point. I’ve gotten four or five pages handwritten now, but will not have them entered into the computer til later. I’m handwriting for now to stay away from the temptations of the internet and save my wrists…well, except when I have to take a break to fix lunch, make coffee, and do some laundry. heh. Figured I’d do an update while I was up.

40,013 thanks to a couple of appearances by Arthur Ramblings. heh.

currently up to 38,715…hoping to make it to 40k and beyond tonight.

I loved Depeche Mode, even before I knew Topher. My brother was a fan and I often stole his cd’s and listened to them. I had never heard the album Ultra though until Toph played it for me. We were in his new Sunfire [Correction: we were not in his Sunfire. He'd borrowed his parents' car so that there'd be more room for all of my stuff!], packed with all of my stuff, driving from Maryland to Ohio…moving me to live with him out there.

I listened to him singing the lyrics of Home, and my heart just expanded. The song described how he made me feel. And listening to him singing it, and realizing at some point that he was singing to me….well, I melted. (Toph, if you weren’t singing to me that time, I don’t want to know. Leave me my illusions. )

Here is a song from the wrong side of town

Where I’m bound to the ground by the loneliest sound

And it pounds from within and is pinning me down

Here is a page from the emptiest stage

A cage or the heaviest cross ever made

A gauge of the deadliest trap ever laid

And I thank you for bringing me here

For showing me home

For singing these tears

Finally I’ve found that I belong here

The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets

That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet

Well I’m drowning in time to a desperate beat

And I thank you for bringing me here

For showing me home

For singing these tears

Finally I’ve found that I belong

Feels like home

I should have known

From my first breath

God send the only true friend I call mine

Pretend that I’ll make amends the next time

Befriend the glorious end of the line

And I thank you for bringing me here

For showing me home

For singing these tears

Finally I’ve found that I belong here

We wandered the mall on our wedding day (after the ceremony, but before the reception), in our wedding finery, to find a copy of this cd so that we could dance to this song at our reception. We got some funny comments about being dressed up for prom and stuff, which we laughed about. When we finally did dance to the song, with our family and friends gathered around, we heard more than one voice whispering, “How can they slow dance to THIS?!?” and we grinned at each other and kept dancing.

It is our song, if we could claim any song for our own, as odd as it may be when looking at the lyrics. I continue to be thankful for Toph, for showing me home and for singing my tears, for helping me realize that I belong. I love you, Toph.

Next two sections outlined and a third formulating (it’s a sex scene, so I’m not getting into detail outlining that yet). Should make writing easier tomorrow.