I’m reading The Friendship Crisis: Finding, making, and keeping friends when you’re not a kid anymore by Marla Paul. I picked it up because, as I mentioned in this blog post, I’ve had a really hard time making friends in recent years, specifically since moving to Jacksonville in September. There aren’t many things more frustrating than going to the same organized event every Wednesday for the better part of 3 months and STILL not having a friend to talk to while there. There are faces I recognize and who apparently recognize me, but that recognition never leads to conversation beyond a “Hello” or comments about the kids.
So, after awhile of feeling shunned, I start to wonder…Is there something wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Do I *sniffsniff* smell funny? Do I dress weird? What’s going on?
This book, so far, has emphasized a few things about making and keeping friends. First, it’s hard work to find people to invite into your life as a friend (never mind actually inviting them). Second, it’s harder still for stay at home moms who don’t have the built in social network that women who work outside the home have. Third, once you do find the friends, you have to work hard to keep them. You have to carve out time for them. You have to be flexible with their schedules and yours. You have to be patient.
Well, I’m still waiting to see how it all comes out. What I’ve gotten so far is that at least I’m not the only woman in the world who feels alone and disconnected. I have hope that there is a way out. I just wish it wasn’t so hard. Being introverted doesn’t help things, I guess…apparently, it’s easy to view shy people as stuck up or frosty or something. That’s reassuring, isn’t it? *sigh*
