Mom is Just a Nickname

I’ve gotten some teasing in the past for the souvenirs I choose when on special trips.  Mainly from the days when I was in my senior year of high school, or just after.

For Senior Spring Break, I went to Ocean City, MD with my good friend Ellen and her mom.  We had a blast, despite the chilly, overcast days.  I fell in love all over again with the sounds of Elton John, Live with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra, after playing the album with the ocean waves in the background.  We played video games, pool, we poked around what shops were open in that pre-season period.  I considered different tshirts, I considered magnets, postcards, etc.  You know, standard tourist souvenir crap.

I ended buying a blanket.  It was one of those Mexican sarape type blankets which were all the rage with the beach going types then (as I recall).  It was pink, baby blue, and white.  It was rough and scratchy.  I loved it.  And then I hated it (because it was scratchy).  I tucked it into my things, taking it with me when I went off to college…taking it with me when I moved to Ohio.  It mostly lives in my car now, ready to pull out should we decide to picnic or if someone gets cold while we’re driving.  It has been through the wash so often after 12-13 years of use that it is soft and snuggly now.  It is better now than it was when I bought it and each time I touch it, I remember the sounds of Tiny Dancer playing with the ocean waves crashing in the background. I remember the fun conversations Ellen and I had, and what a great time I had with her and her mom.  How lucky I was that my parents let me take that trip away from home for a week.

Not too long after that, I went to Britain for 5 weeks with my brother.  I wanted to take everything home with me, to keep forever the adventures Tom and I found.  Of course, I couldn’t. I didn’t want any of the touristy junk to take home from Britain either.  Who needs that stuff? No, one cold day in Scotland, I bought myself a fuzzy fleece sweater…nothing particularly special to Scotland.  And i got it about 4 sizes too large.  It was soft and snuggly right from the start, and again, I loved it.  My brother hated it. He often told me it was the ugliest thing he’d ever seen. True, it was a dull green color…like overcooked asparagus.   Through my college days, I wore that sweater when I was feeling down or sick.  It was like wrapping a bit of comfort around myself.  I remembered the Highlands, with their cold breezes and hanging fog; the sheep, the streams, the burning fire of the whisky.  Putting that sweater on brought it all back.
I still have it, still wear it often, and it’s better than ever (now that I’ve repaired the button that was missing for years and years!).  It is no longer too big for me, it fits just right.  (Well, this makes me kind of sad. I wish it was still too big!)  But I’m delighted that I can still wrap its warmth around me on those cold, gray days, which are never as pretty here at home as they were in the HIghlands of Scotland.

I may choose weird souvenirs, but I choose things that stay with me.  They may look like junk to someone else, with no sentimental value because they don’t scream where they came from, but to me they carry the memories of wonderful times and transformational trips.  And so many of the things in my home carry similar memories, whether they were a special gift commemorating our marriage, or we dug them out of a dumpster at Goodwill….oh. I wasn’t supposed to mention that, was I? Memories aren’t always Kodak moments!

I used to think I had a green thumb in high school. I had a jungle in my bedroom..from standard houseplants to various bonsai plants I’d acquired.  I also had a plot in the family garden which I “landscaped” with shade loving plants: hosta, ferns and a bleeding heart which came to us broken and wilted, but was huge and thriving by the time my parents moved away from that house.

I’ve felt like I have a black thumb since then though. Whether my time and energy were being given to the creation of other things or I just didn’t care enough, I’m not sure.  I have been killing the unkillable houseplants for ten years now.   But now I’m back to trying for that green thumb again.

I’ve got a garden which is slowly becoming lovely, abundant and colorful.  Today I spent two hours planting new plants (strawberry, pansies, lavender, plumbago, bee balm and lemon balm) and the other day I spent awhile planting things a friend had shared (joe pie weed, elephant ears, lantana and a few others).  My garden is a nice mix of herbs, flowers, and edibles right now. It’s pretty nifty to walk out and pick a radish to put on my salad!

I’m also really enjoying the wildlife that’s drawn to my plants.  There are a handful of tree frogs and lizards which occupy my container garden by the front door. There’s also a toad which hops through on occasion.  And then I’ve got a lizard buddy who hangs out by the hose in the garden on the side of the house.  I’m hoping that once some of my newest plants begin flowering, the bees, butterflies and birds will be drawn in to the area too.

I guess most important is that I’m really enjoying my garden – be it the plants or the wildlife.  My grass may be brown, crackling and full of weeds, but my garden is shaping up beautifully.  The grass…well, I’d rather a garden than a lawn. I wonder if the landlord would mind if I ripped the lawn out and replaced it with a meadow of wildflowers?

Hard financial times lead us to thinking of what luxuries, pleasures, and possibly necessities would we give up if we had to.  It’s been on my mind lately.

I realize that I’ve been slowly letting go of a number of things which previously I would have thought of as necessity.  Yet there are other luxuries which I keep buying. I rationalize that they are things that would be useful to have, should the need arise, but the flat out fact of the matter is that at this point, they really are luxuries.

Here are some things I’ve let go of in the last few months and years:

• Cable/Satellite TV.  Toph and I have let this go a number of times since we got married.  For one reason or another, we sometimes decide it’s worth the cost, but at the moment we are without…and functioning just fine without it.  We have a digital converter, so when need be, we can watch the news and such.  Otherwise, we get movies from the library or from the Red Box, or *gasp* we do things which are not TV related.  (Oh, the horror! heh.)

• Shaving.  What? Shaving?  Well, I haven’t shaved in almost two months. Not my legs, anyhow.  This was less a matter of ‘letting go’ for the sake of our financial security and more a matter of me rebelling against the establishment, I think.  I kept asking myself, “Why am I shaving? Who am I making happy by doing it?”  I decided that I’d let my legs go furry and see what I actually thought of it.  So far, I like the freedom of not having to shave every other day or every day. I like not having little razor burn bumps on my legs. And I feel like my legs are finally getting a chance to heal all the old shaving wounds they have received in the past.  And in the meantime, I’m saving money by not going through razorheads.

• Shampoo and Conditioner.  Another case of doing it for something other than money matters, but it is saving us money.  I began to investigate going ‘No ‘Poo’ years ago, but never got up the nerve to do it.  Then my head began rebelling. No matter what brand, formula or frequency I used, my head was itchy and flaky. Yes, I even tried dandruff shampoos.  Almost six months ago, in my last fit of frustration, I began to reduce how often I shampoo until I was down to only once a week.  Then about a month ago, I began to use baking soda, apple cider vinegar and if I really need some deeper conditioning, olive oil.  I’ve heard that you can use lemon juice instead of apple cider vinegar, especially if you have or want more blonde highlights.  I’m happy with my head of reddish highlights at the moment, so I haven’t tried it.  The bottom line of the switch is that I’m not buying shampoo, conditioner or any of the other miscellaneous hair products that were previously so necessary to me to have a nice head of hair.  And, after an initial period of frizziness, my hair is settling down and looking fine.  Happy head, less money spent. It works for me.

• Meat. Could you go vegetarian?  We are working on reducing our meat consumption, for our health and wallets, as much as any environmental reason.  We have been discovering quite a number of delicious and filling meals with our experimenting…and they are cheaper!

• Paper Products such as paper towels, napkins, plates, tissues, feminine products.  We have reduced our paper towel usage by using (and reusing) cloth rags for most things.  We use cloth napkins most of the time, and, with rare exceptions, we use our regular dishes and cutlery instead of paper dishes and plastic flatware.  The tissues we haven’t given up.  I’m still wrestling with the sanitary issues of handkerchiefs.  I did give up most disposable feminine products almost 8 years ago, though. I use cloth pads most of the time now. (Sorry if that’s TMI, but it falls in with this category and it’s an important, money saving, switch that I made.) I also used cloth diapers on X when he was little, for the most part.  X hasn’t reached nighttime dryness yet, so sadly we do spend money on pull-ups, but part of that is my own reluctance to invest the time and energy into finding a good overnight cloth diaper that doesn’t seem like a diaper for him…only to have him give them up a week later.  I have hopes he’ll nighttime train soon.

• Newspapers.  Instead of getting a newspaper delivered, read it online.  The downside of this is that you don’t get the coupons without a Sunday paper.  Most of the sales flyers are available online or can be sent in email, though.

Anyhow, the point of all of this is just to point out how many things we use which have less expensive alternatives that have all but been forgotten about in this age of convenience and disposables and expectations.  We have options, if we but take the time to look around and commit the energy to changing our ways.

What have you or would you give up in order to live on less money?

I participated in NaNoWriMo last year. That’s National Novel Writing Month. It’s in November, and the object of participating is to write the first draft of a novel of at least 50,000 words in those 30 days. It was great, it was horrible, it was amazing, it was painful…and I can’t do it this year.

I hurt myself doing it last year, literally. My hands were in such bad shape by the end that I was handwriting everything and then Toph was typing it all in for me each evening. I could not type. It was torture to sit at my computer. And the effects of the exercise linger today, as I still battle pain in my hands and throughout my body. We think that the experience, the long term inflammation that I created in my body by pushing so hard, caused fibromyalgia (or at least exacerbated the condition enough that it became more than an occasional nuisance that I barely noticed). Now I dread what the winter may bring, because I seem to react adversely to the cold weather. And it doesn’t even get that cold here in Florida. We shall see.

Instead of trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days towards a completely new project, I am taking the months of October, November and December to write 50,000 words and for the most part, I am using the time to flesh out the novel I started last November. I did reach the 50,000 word mark last year, but the story I was left with was incomplete. Many of the scenes I wrote cannot be used in the story now that I am editing and refining the story. So, now I am left to create new scenes, to make the old and the new mesh. With any luck, the effort will push the story along and motivate me to get it edited and eventually submitted for publication.

I am sad that I cannot participate in Nano as it is meant to be done. 50,000 words in a month is truly an exhilarating goal to meet. It requires pushing harder, longer, and faster and sparks all sorts of creative fires inside of me. But I can’t afford another winter like i had last year. So, slow and easy is the route I will take.

Here is my current word count and what I should have written by now to meet my goal of 50K by December 31st:

5,933 words to date/need 9,000 by Sunday to be on pace for the end goal

I did not write at all last week, but the last two days have yielded at least twice my goal word count of 600 per day so I’m catching up.  Expect weekly updates, at least. I don’t think I’ll do daily or even multiple times daily updates as I did last year during Nano.  It got a little ridiculous then.

In no particular order:

1. Never close a bedroom, bathroom or closet door. Inevitably, a cat will be caught on the most inconvenient side and yowl for release at the most inconvenient time.

2. Afternoon naps are a necessity. Especially if that’s the only time to get good snuggles from the shy cat.

3. Computer chairs are not meant for human butts. They are, in fact, perfectly engineered for cats.

4. Spending money on fancy toys is not worth it. Simple, every day household objects bring far greater pleasure.

5. Avoid wearing white at all times. This also goes for avoiding white or light colored carpets.

6. Catnip is an invasive plant for a reason. Cats can take out a whole plant in one sitting.

7. Patience, and a healthy sense of revenge, are useful for co-habitating with other species.

8. An effective way to wake a sound sleeper is to lick their nose. Right inside the nostrils works best.

9. The closet in our bedroom is the quietest location in the house.

10. The best places for a nap: cold linoleum floors (especially on hot days), pools of sunlight in front of open windows, completely under blankets (mostly on very cold days), and anywhere I can be most annoying to those around me.