Mom is Just a Nickname

It’s so easy to waste a day in my world. I’ve literally been in front of the computer for hours today, but I have nothing much to show for it except an artificially inflated boost in my blog’s visitors. Why artificial? Because none of these visitors stays very long, no one takes the time to see what I write about. Most of these visitors stay a second and then run away again. On to bigger and better things.

I should have been cleaning my house, writing, or even interacting more with my child. The very least I should have done today was to get dressed. I’m ashamed to admit that it is 5pm EST and I am still in my pajamas.

Somewhere in the midst of all of my mouse clicking and monitor staring, I have managed to do several loads of laundry and the dishes. I also took a few timeouts to build a helicopter, a service station and a dune buggy out of blocks with X. My calendar has been updated and I have done research on Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten. X has managed to dismantle a couch, plant afore-mentioned blocks all over the living room floor, play a CD multiple times on fastforward speed (which makes it sound like the Chipmunks are singing), and scatter costumes all over the living room floor (to water the planted blocks?). He keeps himself busy. I imagine I’m in for a battle when I tell him it’s time to clean up the mess he’s made.

This is the kind of day I was thinking of when I wrote a few days ago that I mostly manage to just ‘exist’ not to ‘live’. I waste hours and hours doing nothing productive, nothing that contributes to my health or wellbeing. At the end of the day, I look back and realize the many other ways I could have spent the day and I feel bad. What was I thinking? Perhaps more importantly, why wasn’t I thinking?

Well, here’s a meme, courtesy of Lanie. Wonder if she meant me when she mentioned a “Beth” in her answers.

Read through the comments below about your friend and then make sure you read the instruction at the bottom.Place an X by all the things you’ve done, or remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me.) This is for your entire life (so far that is):
(X ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed in a friend’s car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love
(X) Been dumped
() Been Laid off/fired
(X) Quit your job
() Been in a fist fight
(X) Snuck out of your parent’s house (kind of…they didn’t want me going, in any case)
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
() Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend (what are “pickle jar” lies, Lanie?)
(X) Skipped school (only once, at least before college. I was scared of geting caught!)
(X) Seen someone right after they died
(X) Been to the USA
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the world (Britain counts, right?)
(X) Gone to Washington , DC (Please don’t make me go back to the Air and Space Museum again!)
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X ) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers. (I don’t remember specifically, but I’m sure I did at some point)
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(X) Made prank phone calls
() Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Made a snow angel
(X) Danced in the rain
(X ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Barfed in the middle of the night
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller skating
(X) Gone ice skating

OK, here are the questions:
What time is it now? 8:28 AM
What is your full name? Beth
Recent movie you have seen in the theatre? We don’t go out to movies very often.
Where were you born? Orlando, Florida
Ever been toilet papering? no
Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes
Been in a serious car accident? I refuse to answer for fear of jinxing myself.
Do you plan on having Children? not any more, unless we adopt
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
Favorite restaurant? I’ll say Perard’s.
Favorite sport to watch? I don’t really like to watch sports.
Favorite Ice Cream? Breyer’s Natural Vanilla
Favorite Shake flavor at a fast food restaurant? chocolate
What color is your bedroom? white walls, green and purple sheets
Favorite non alcoholic drink? water with lots and lots of ice
Tattoos? Yes, I have one.
Just one Body piercing? Three earrings
What is your favorite vacation spot? I don’t know. Home?
Ever steal any traffic signs/billboards? No
Favorite Salad Dressing? I don’t know.
Favorite number? 6
Favorite Holiday? I don’t know.
Favorite sound? a quiet house, with just the sound of my fingers tapping on a keyboard.
Furthest place you will send this to? blogosphere
How many times did you fail your driver’s test? 0
From whom did you get your last email? blogger
What do you do when you are bored? find some crafty project to do, or write, or surf endlessly online.
Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Probably no one.
Who is the least likely to respond? strangers
Who is the person that you are most curious to see their answers? I don’t know. None of these questions are burning in my mind.
What kind of car do you drive? minivan
What are you listening to right now? X is digging through his birthday gifts.
How many pets do you have? 2
What would you like to accomplish before you die? get published, see my kids happily grown up, maybe a second honeymoon
How many people are you sending this email to? whoever reads this and wants to do one of their own.

I know this alphabet thing worked well for awhile, but I’m ready to get to the end and be done. Is that terrible? It’s nice to do it, nice idea and all of that, but I think when I started I had no idea what I was commiting myself to. 26 days of ready made posts, it seems like. That’s like having a whole month of dinners stashed in the freezer. You pull one out, nuke it and eat the slightly freezer burned meal before you. It’s kind of stale, still half frozen in the center, but you eat it any way because it’s what you had planned, it’s what was ready. It’s not really good, but it gets the job done.

That is about how I’ve felt about these alphabet posts some days. They either reduce me to tears from the memories called up or they bore me to tears because I can’t think of anything poignant to write. Guess which kind of day today is?

I thought about writing about rice…I do cook a fair amount with rice. I don’t really have any memories, funny or touching or otherwise, attached to rice though. It’s a utilitarian meal element, nothing too fun is done with it most days. I do love rice pudding, but I’m the only one in the house that likes it. I take it with no raisins but lots of chocolate!

I thought maybe rhubarb? Well, I don’t really like rhubarb, but I remember my dad grew it at one point and my mom made a rhubarb pie. She often made (makes?) him rhubarb pie at Thanksgiving time. He’s the only one who eats it. Well, my grandmother would eat it when she was with us for Thanksgiving. His mom loved rhubarb too. When I moved to Ohio, I discovered there was such a thing as rhubarb-strawberry pie. It was very red and pink and not at all appealling to me.

What about raisins? Yeah, what about them? I don’t like them. I keep trying them, year after year, but I just can’t enjoy their texture or taste. Craisins I like, though….you know, ‘raisins’ made out of cranberries. Those are good. I like those mixed in with my granola (along with chocolate).

Well, I guess I’ll toss the remains of this freezer-burned post out to the winds and see what happens. Hopefully tomorrow ‘S’ will inspire me more.

Jillian was jealous of the attention he was getting.

The cake masterpiece was made by Toph: chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, as requested by the Birthday Boy.

He loved hearing us sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him, and he blew his candles out with enthusiasm. I’m, honestly, just glad he didn’t spit on the cake. He had been practicing how he would blow out candles earlier in the day and there was some spit involved. *shudder*

MMM….that was a yummy cake!

Happy Birthday, X!

It’s hard to believe that four years ago, I looked like this. [it's a terrible picture of me, but at 37 weeks pregnant, I think I had a a good reason for looking grumpy!] More importantly, four years ago, once he’d made his arrival in the world, X looked like this.

He didn’t make the stunningly quick arrival that his siblings made. He took his time moving from the womb to the world. He has always moved on his own schedule that way. He doesn’t seem to care so much what time schedule the rest of us have to keep, he will do things when he is ready. From weaning to potty training to getting dressed each morning, he can’t be hurried, bribed or cajoled. When he’s ready, he does it.

From that description, he sounds like a stubborn old man, but this kid is a little ball of energy! He bounces off of walls! Literally! When he meets new people, he’s very quiet at first. Before he talks a whole lot, he’ll show off his ‘moves’, which are crazy break-dance-like movements. Once the new person has watched him properly and commented on his prowess, then he’ll start talking to them.

He balances his tremendous energy and ponderous readiness to cooperate with a sensitivity that can’t help but touch my heart. He is often the first person to notice I need comfort, the first to offer one of his little friends something to cheer them up and the first to want to give hugs and kisses. He can be very sweet.

Four years old. Two years older than his older brother will ever be. Five years younger than his older sister. He has made his place in our family and our hearts. He is our not-so-little-anymore X-man. He has blue eyes, just like his brother and daddy. He is creative, quick to learn, overflowing with curiosity and energy, and altogether a balm for this mother’s wounded heart.

Some days he drives me crazy. Usually I watch him in amazement and gratitude for the gift that he is.