It’s so easy to waste a day in my world. I’ve literally been in front of the computer for hours today, but I have nothing much to show for it except an artificially inflated boost in my blog’s visitors. Why artificial? Because none of these visitors stays very long, no one takes the time to see what I write about. Most of these visitors stay a second and then run away again. On to bigger and better things.
I should have been cleaning my house, writing, or even interacting more with my child. The very least I should have done today was to get dressed. I’m ashamed to admit that it is 5pm EST and I am still in my pajamas.
Somewhere in the midst of all of my mouse clicking and monitor staring, I have managed to do several loads of laundry and the dishes. I also took a few timeouts to build a helicopter, a service station and a dune buggy out of blocks with X. My calendar has been updated and I have done research on Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten. X has managed to dismantle a couch, plant afore-mentioned blocks all over the living room floor, play a CD multiple times on fastforward speed (which makes it sound like the Chipmunks are singing), and scatter costumes all over the living room floor (to water the planted blocks?). He keeps himself busy. I imagine I’m in for a battle when I tell him it’s time to clean up the mess he’s made.
This is the kind of day I was thinking of when I wrote a few days ago that I mostly manage to just ‘exist’ not to ‘live’. I waste hours and hours doing nothing productive, nothing that contributes to my health or wellbeing. At the end of the day, I look back and realize the many other ways I could have spent the day and I feel bad. What was I thinking? Perhaps more importantly, why wasn’t I thinking?
February 1st, 2008 at 2:53 am - Edit
I think it’s completely normal to have days like this. The thing I’ve learned is to not allow myself to get down about them but to file my feelings away to pull out some day when I’m tempted to do the same.
When I was home with Khaila, I would make it a point to set a timer and get up and do something every once in a while. I got dressed as soon as I got up no matter how comfy my jammies were.
You spent time with X today so you didn’t simply exist, you DID live. You spent some quality time with your little guy!
February 1st, 2008 at 2:54 am - Edit
hmmmm….well I know what you mean. But I also think that we need days like this to re-energize ourselves, our minds. So look back on it in a positive way rather than a negative one. Does that sound too trite? I hope not…cause I really do think doing nothing is actually doing something.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:46 am - Edit
that sounds like a really productive day compared to mine. Well, at least mine was exciting and dramatic for a little bit!
February 1st, 2008 at 2:08 pm - Edit
Well, I do think that it’s ok to have some days like that. I just know that I have a day or two like that and I end up down in the dumps for weeks. I’ve had more days like that recently and I need to haul myself up soon.
February 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 am - Edit
Seriously, I’m trying to use FlyLady in this aspect of my life as well as the whole keeping the house clean thing. If I have a completely wasted day, I get up the next morning and do NOT let myself feel bad for what is in the past. Feeling bad won’t change it, it’ll only make today be another day like the one before. Does that make any sense?
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:07 am - Edit
Hey . . . you need days like these (so I’m in agreement with your other commenters). I hear you . . . there are times I start posting or browsing blogs (the dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be folded, I need to STOP eating the dark chocolate M&Ms . . .) and the next thing I know, the day is half done. Oh well . . . I consider it a great feat if I can get out of my PJs.
I have somethin’ for ya!