Mommy Guilt
Posted by: Mom in Emotive Moments, tags: aggressive behavior, mommy guilt, run awaySometimes I just want to run away. I think, “If I could just get away for two days and not have to worry about anyone but myself, I’d feel so much better!” And then….
I feel guilty. I feel like it’s wrong for me to want to get away from my children. I feel like I should be available to them when they need me, on their schedules not my own. Or I feel like a bad mom for not always liking the way they are acting.
Sometimes, I feel bad that I will spend an entire day writing or blogging or reading and not spending time playing with the kids. The four year old has recently become aggressive, both in action and words, and doing some reading online, it seems that he may feel that any attention (even negative) is better than none. Maybe he is acting out to get attention. He usually seems perfectly content to play alone, but then he will get aggressive towards his sister and us in the evenings.
More mommy guilt. This one, at least, I can do something about. Athough I find the blogging and the writing therapeutic and the reading is a habit I just can’t break, I still need to take the time to praise the little man for good behavior.
I’m not convinced I should feel guilty for wanting to be away for a chunk of time, though. We all need breaks. People who work full time outside the home can leave their jobs. Mine is always there. As a full time stay at home mom, I’m always on duty. Even when my husband is home and takes on his share of parenting, there are still some things that Mommy must do. I do not clock out when Daddy walks through the door for his shift.
Have you ever had Mommy Guilt? What made you feel guilty? How did you handle the situation? Was it something you felt deserved Mommy Guilt?
February 28th, 2008 at 2:00 am - Edit
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Stacey Derbinshire
February 28th, 2008 at 1:07 pm - Edit
All of the above. I know exactly how you feel. I always tell Audie that being a stay-at-home mom is the most difficult because you never leave your job or your workplace. Everything is always there, staring at you!
I used to feel guilty about alone time, but not so much anymore, as long as I balance it with quality time with Levi. As he gets older, and I set boundaries, he seems more able to respect those boundaries. Four is a tough age though. As you know having a 9-year old, it does get better. But while your in the midst of it, it seems endless.
One thing that helps me is taking a girl’s weekend with my sister. We leave the kids with the husbands, hop in the car and go somewhere fun for the whole weekend. By the end of that time, we are missing the kids and ready to get back to day-to-day mommy life.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:50 pm - Edit
I totally understand. J is only 6 months. We play nearly all the time and I am sometimes eager for just a few spare minutes. I cherish his nap times. I feel guilty that instead of catching up on laundry, cleaning the kitchen, doing the dishes, I sit here . . . doing this. I went from interacting with people (albeit, many of whom were high school kids) to only having an audience of one.
I keep telling myself to focus on quality and NOT quantity. I’m hoping I can keep that focus here on out . . .
I’m really ready to start writing–hopefully turning it into a little income. It scares me a bit because I’m hoping I can balance it all. We shall soon see. All I know is that only 6 months into motherhood and I am already feeling mommy guilt.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:05 pm - Edit
Gotta find a balance. He won’ t be four forever, and you’ll never get that time back. I know about wanting/needing to escape. I try to get away by myself at least once a week but try to be somewhat attentive when we are together. Next year he’ll be at kindergarden and you’ll have more time to yourself.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:58 pm - Edit
i’m in a similar boat… actually, i’m in SEVERAL boats. while i, like most moms, too am suffering from MTDD “me time” deficit disorder (we should scribble this one into the DSM-IV) i am also trying to embrace and appreciate this opportunity to be with my kids. i’ve worked my entire life (started buying my own clothes when i was 13). so i almost don’t know HOW to concentrate on home things only… even now, i’m running a biz. while i’m trying to scale it back, it keeps running after me! those are the times that i find it easier to soak in hours of mommy duty!