Mom is Just a Nickname

So many of my friends and family are welcoming babies into the world this year or next.  My sister, two cousins, and friends!  I’m happy for all of them, but sad for myself.  My babies are getting older…My oldest turns 10 in October.  TEN! I said TEN!!!!!  I’ve been a mom for ten years, while some of my peers still don’t have any children.  I’m not sure which, if either, missed out.  I mean, I do kind of wish I had had more time as an adult before having children.  But, that would have meant passing up the time I have had with my kids…and that would be a sore loss for me.

I’m trying to balance the past, the present and the future.  The things I might have done if I’d misspent my youth might have led me down a far less pleasant path.  I now sit in my home, surrounded by the family I love, and know that I made a decision that was healthy for me…even if it seemed insane at the time, and even if it led to some great heartache.  All the things I wish I had had back before meeting Topher or having kids, I can still find today: good friends, a higher education, a satisfying career.

I’m slowly learning that it’s never too late to craft the life I wish I had had.  I’m stubborn though, so it takes me time to get there.  So, as I toast the newest additions to our family and I admire the pictures of my friends’ newborns, I remember with sweet nostalgia the days when my children were that tiny, and I look forward.  I look forward to all that is yet to come.  Like those little innocent babes, I’m just starting off in a new world.