I’m an optimist, but it’s not just because I was born this way. I work at it. When the horrible things are piling up on the plate of my life, I do my best to look to the dessert plate to remind myself of what’s still sweet and good. It is a constant and conscious balancing act, but without the effort, I’d be drowning in the mashed potatoes and gravy. I’m creating a full dessert menu to help remember the sweet things in life, even when the main dish doesn’t look very appetizing.
During the worst times in my life, focusing in on each moment seems to help me appreciate more. The day of Sullivan’s funeral, I looked up into the sky and saw a rainbow hanging on the horizon above the trees. I took it as a sign that he was in a better place and soon I would be too, although hopefully still on the mortal plane of existence. Now, as I sit here with my back thrown out and hurting, I have taken the time to notice the cat curled up sweetly beside me, to hear the comforting sound of Toph typing away in his office, to know that my children are snuggled safe in their beds –even though they weren’t all that happy to go to bed in the first place!
I’m always happy when they go to bed, though, because it gives me time to journal. I often find surprising revelations in my written words. Although I only journal sporadically, I have several old diaries stashed away. It’s fun to go back and read what I was writing about through different periods of my life. I see the times when my thoughts were most turbulent, I was often searching for the rich taste of a “chocolate cake” kind of happiness amidst the split pea soup fog in my head. Every time the sun has melted the fog away, though, I realize that my table has been spread with dessert plates all the while…I just didn’t look in the right places.
Of course, sometimes, the main course of life is like a big pan of paella: spicy, rich and nourishing for the body and spirit! Then it’s easy to dismiss the dessert table altogether!
Paella!
