Mom is Just a Nickname

As a follow up to my last post, “I believe…?” I came across a news article through yahoo.com, “Group Files Suit Over ‘I Believe’ plates in SC.”

I see this in two ways. One, I’m glad that similar legislation failed in Florida. It’s hard enough to get along with people from different religions and backgrounds (and Florida is nothing if not filled with diversity) because of percieved DIFFERENCES between everyone. Better to find ways to emphasize the things we have IN COMMON.

Two, if the states offer private groups special plates with a number of prepaid orders, or flat out cash of a certain amount, as long as they don’t discriminate against any group why not let religious groups have their plates? It is another way for the government to generate money, I assume. Personally, I liked it when all the plates from a state looked the same, without all of the different backgrounds. I’m all for simplicity though.

Still that question remains…”What do you believe?”

The RMHC is one of our favorite Charities for some very obvious reasons.  Thanks to them, we had a free place to stay in December of 2000, when our son, Sullivan, was flown to Toledo because he stopped breathing and needed specialized care.  At the time, the hospital in Toledo was an hour and a half from home and our son 5.5 weeks old.  We didn’t know if we were coming or going, how long we’d be in Toledo with him…but the hospital and the House in Toledo made it easier on us.

Not only was staying in the house free, but food was provided.  There was a full pantry with every food imaginable stocked from quick snacks to components of a healthy dinner.  To our amazement, the counters in the kitchen were overflowing with treats that had been donated.  Every sweet, rich comfort food you can imagine was there: cupcakes, cookies, coffee cake, chocolate cake, candies…the list goes on.  It was just before Christmas and the Ronald McDonald House was apparently high on the list of places for people tomake donations at that time of year.

 In subsequent stays throughout the following two years, it became obvious that the House had support, but it was most apparent in the Christmas season.  During the rest of the year, it was quietly dedicated volunteers who kept the house running.  They did not offer as many treats or as many gifts for the families that stayed there, but what they helped maintain was a clean, peaceful place to stay with warm, caring people who were almost always willing to talk.  Once, when we stayed in July, we decided that it was a place that knows the true feeling of the Holiday season….year round.  We found the same caring support in July that we’d found in December.  In December the level of support astounded us, but we kind of passed it off on the Holiday season’s affects on people.  When the generosity level was the same in July, we felt profoundly grateful for the RMH.

Supporting the RMH came in many ways.  For some, saving pop tabs is the easiest way to help.   By recycling the pop tabs, the House is able to earn the money to buy groceries throughout the year.  For others, giving money is easiest.  This money often goes into maintaining the individual rooms in the House.  For others, giving their time makes the most sense.   Volunteers maintain the House and make it run.  The people that give their time to the House are committed to helping the families staying there.  Some volunteers commit to a day of helping and others make a monthly or semi-yearly commitment. 

After Sullivan died in 2002, and we’d had some time to mourn, we decided to make a trip back to “the home away from home” which we had gotten to know so well.  We knew we wanted to volunteer, but we weren’t sure what kind of commitment we could make.  At first, we made a meal each month.  At that time the RMH in Toledo was just starting its “Dinner on the House” program.  I’m not sure it was even an organized effort at the point.  But we came once a month and made a meal, usually crockpot chili, for the families staying there.  Sometimes we made it ahead of time, other times we cooked it there.  Sometimes we brought the food to be used and other times we  used the food the House provided.  It was a very flexible set up.  We usually made a carnivore version and a vegetarian version.

It was a very good experience for us.  It kept us in touch with people that had helped us through some very hard times, making it harder to feel totally alone in our grief.  It also helped us feel that we were giving something back to an organization that helped us significantly.  As time went on, we progressed from just providing meals, to doing light chores around the House.  We eventually made a commitment to be there once a month to help out in any way we could for a Sunday afternoon.  We took the kids with us and they helped as they were able.

Every year,  RMHC sponsors something called World Children’s Day on November 20th.  It’s a fundraising effort for the organization, usually channeled through local McDonald’s restaurants. (McDonald’s restaurants and the RMHC are only loosely affiliated by name and founder. They are, in fact, seperate entities.)  Giving a donation during this fundraising drive is one way to give support to the Ronald McDonald House Charities. 

The RMHC does so much more than just provide a “home away from home” to families whose children are hospitalized.  They support families around the world through their Houses, Family rooms set up in hospitals to help families find some peace during their time there, and through their Care Mobile program which helps children in need with medical services on a worldwide basis.  There is more information on their website about each of these programs and about ways to help.  Please consider doing something to support this organization.  It doesn’t take much to remove a tab from your pop can (or soda can or beer can or cat food can).  Each tab makes a difference to the RMHC, though.

Lynn is a freelance writer and mother of four.  She authors the blog called Virtual Wordsmith where she explores her experiences as a writer,  interviews other authors, and also reviews books.  She also has a blog, Family in a Blender , which explores the joys and challenges of Stepfamilies, also known as Blended Families. 

wfg: Describe your family life.
Lynn: I am a happily married mother of four children, a daughter - just shy of 18, a stepson - 16, and two sons - 10 and 5.  We have a yours, mine and ours dynamic, as three of the children are from previous marriages or relationships, the youngest child being “ours”.  We do, however, refer to all of the kids as ours. 

wfg:  What special joys or challenges accompany having your children’s ages spread between almost 18 and 5?
Lynn:  There are so many joys it would be tough to choose just one. 
 
One of my favorite memories is of my daughter, holding my youngest son in her arms when he was just a baby, and dancing with him.  He was sound asleep on her shoulder and she was singing to him.  I had this super-imposed vision of her dancing with him at her wedding, with her head on his shoulder.
 
The challenges are many.  Each child is unique, and alike, in that they are all strong personalities and leaders in their own ways.  We run into issues with bedtimes, because the older two want to stay up later.  I run into issues with the 10 year old, because he wants to do the things the 16 year old does, but he’s not quite old enough yet.  Committing the entire family to one activity is also a trick, because the older two already have their own lives, with friends and jobs. 

wfg:  How would you describe your parenting style?
Lynn:  My parenting style is semi-attachment.  I breastfed all of my babies (the first two for 6 months each, the last for 9 months), but did not co-sleep.  I have been a stay at home or work at home mom for what seems like forever.  
 
wfg:  What are your hobbies?
 Lynn:  I love to read.  Lately I’ve had 2 or 3 books going at once, which is new for me.  Cooking is one of my great passions.  I also love to hike in the woods.

wfg:  What kinds of things do you like to cook?  Will you share a favorite recipe?
Lynn:  I love to bake.  Cookies, sweet breads, cakes, candies.  I do not bake breads, though.  I leave that up to my husband.  Yeast and I do not get along.  I also love to do the “home cooked meal” thing - Pot Roast, Turkey with all the trimmings, Soups, Roasted Chicken, Lasagna.
 
My favorite recipe is Guinness Pot Roast.  You can find the recipe here.

wfg:  Are you living the life you thought you’d be living?
Lynn:  I am living the life I envisioned, in many ways.  I always knew I’d have at least 3 children, I’d hoped to be married to someone who was my best friend and partner, and I wanted to raise my children in a small town.  I have achieved those things.
 
I didn’t expect to be living in the Mid West, raising a step child and only seeing my parents and siblings once every 5 years or so.

wfg: You said you didn’t expect to live in the Mid West:  What’s your favorite thing about living there now?
Lynn:  My favorite thing about living here now is the land.  Rich, dark fertile soil, beautiful and varying scenery no matter which part of Minnesota you travel, the power of the Summer storms, the quiet after a 12 inch snowfall.  If I had to live anywhere other than where I grew up, Minnesota is the best place I could have ended up.

wfg:  Describe your average day.
Lynn:  My average day begins with coffee and checking emails.  Then, I make sure the kids are up and out the door to school with everything they need.  Once the kids are on their way, I take a shower, wash dishes and prep things for dinner.  I do a couple of loads of laundry a day. 
 
The remainder of my day is spent reading, writing and researching for my blog and freelance writing.  I have surrounded myself with words, in one way or another, and I am loving my work!

wfg:  How did you decide to become a freelance writer?
Lynn:  I became a freelance writer because I’d read through magazines and think “I could’ve written that.”  I love words, I love playing with words, and I love sharing my thoughts with others.  I describe it as a compulsion. 
 
wfg:  What do you find most satisfying about being a writer?
Lynn:  As an avid reader, I find myself educated, entertained and moved by other people’s words.  If and when I accomplish those same things with my writing, I am elated.  I also love the research part of writing.  I am perpetually curious, a life-long student and writing gives me an outlet to discover information and then share it with others.

You can find out more about Lynn from her website and from either of her blogs. 

 Thank you, Lynn, for finding the time to talk to me about your interests and family!

This article by MP Dunleavey is posted on MSN Money.  It made me stop and think.

 I’ve been a SAHM for 9 years.  I have no degree.  I have no career, aside from mothering.  How much will this time with my children cost me in terms of what I could have been earning for the last nine years? 

In the future, I may have to work harder or longer to be financially secure in my old age, but the years of being home with my children are priceless.