Mom is Just a Nickname

We’re somewhere around halfway through J’s summer break from school.  The kids are bored with each other, and I’m bored of refereeing their constant spats.  I need some inspiration for cheap and easy things to do with them at home!  Getting anywhere in town is expensive these days and I’m trying to cut back to only the most basic trips from home.  Combining trips is a lovely idea, but I can only combine so many activities in one day before I’m a worn out mess!

Our fish tank is providing some entertainment at least.  We all three spend a lot of time staring into the tank, studying it, trying to see what the animals are up to now.  Yesterday was an exciting day because we discovered two tiny snails.  We have three large mysterio snails, but these little guys are different.  They must have hitched a ride on some of the new plants we just got!  I know that snails can sometimes take over a tank, but I’ve also read that they can be good for it, so for now, we’ll leave them and let them eat the foul stuff in there.

It was even bigger excitement when we realized that we have some fry in the tank!  The only breeds of fish we have right now red wag platy (4 of them) and silver lyretail mollies (4 of them).  Both breeds are livebearers and we suspected that the two platy females were pregnant within a week of having them home.  I hope there is enough cover for the fry to survive, but if not, I guess we know there’s population control in the tank. (I know, that’s a horrible way to look at it!) We’ve thought about setting a nursery tank, but for now we don’t have the resources to do that.

I’m not sure if it’s the search for something to do or the realization that in about a month X will be starting preschool, but I’ve been weighted down with thoughts of what I’ll be doing once he’s in school.  Toph and I have always agreed that when the kids are both in school, I’d start working - at least part time.  This year is the year to turn my thoughts that way.  X will only be in school for the mornings, which doesn’t give me much time to work a job, but it would give me time to write or do school work.  So, I’m weighing up my options: either I pursue writing far more seriously or I get myself into a school program in order to get a degree.  It begs the questions of what degree I’d get and what kind of writing I want to do.  So, I have a lot on my mind these days.

For now, I guess I’ll succumb to the madness of life with my children.  I’ve had requests to play with bouncy balls in the foyer (oi! I’m ready to hide the darn things!) and we need to go to the library today.  I’ll have to get some pictures of my seedlings and some of the projects me and the kids have done lately.

Here’s hoping your summers are passing more peacefully than mine!

I have been blessed to have known wonderful men and fathers in my life.  Both of my grandfathers, my own father, my father-in-law, and my husband are all men who have contributed much love and care into my life.  I’m thankful for each of them.

I’m not sure what possessed me, but a few days ago I decided the kids and I needed a schedule to follow this summer. It had to be flexible enough to be spontaneous, but firm enough to guide our actions in the day to day.  I dedicated Mondays to sticking around the house, Tuesdays are grocery shopping day, Wednesday we go to the pool, Thursday to the library, and Friday is our Adventure Day, where we go somewhere exciting around town and explore. Adventure Day should mean the zoo, or a museum, or the beach. But, I’m still trying to recover from our late night Wednesday so I wanted to to stick close to home.  So we followed Monday’s schedule more than Friday’s, yesterday.

Here’s what we did:
7-8am: read in bed, watch TV, or check email
8-8:30: breakfast and get dressed
8:30-10: Gardening: planted the rest of the iris and started some seeds in containers
10-10:30: Shower/change clothes, have snack
10:30-12pm: Craft Projects (I was collaging our summer schedule, J was doing a sort of engraving project and X was painting)
12-12:30: Lunch
12:30-1:30: Chores (Clean up lunch dishes, clean kids’ bathroom, scoop cat litter)
1:30-3: Shopping at Home Depot and CVS
3-4: Quiet time
4-5: TV watching

About that time, J got a phone call from a friend inviting her over for the evening. So we dropped her off for that and then went out to eat, instead of eating at home like we were going to. Ooops.

So far, the schedules are popular with the kids, and I liked it too.  I feel like I was more productive today than I normally am, and this made me happy. I felt like the kids enjoyed their day. There was enough time for them to go off on their own and do their own thing, but not so much free time that they were whining at me about boredom. They got to do fun things (gardening and crafts) but it was balanced by getting things done that we needed to get done (chores and shopping).  Jillian especially seemed to appreciate being able to look at the schedule and know what was coming.

I really hope that we can keep up this schedule. I’ve never been one to stick with things like this, except when necessary. But I really think we NEED this structure to our days this year.

So, if you’ve got kids, what do you do to help tame the wild days of summer? How do you keep from hearing “I’m bored” all summer long?

My daughter, who is nine, set a gift on my keyboard for me to find this evening. Upon opening it, I found a piece of blue construction paper cut into a shape resembling a wide and bushy evergreen tree. Upon its branches was glued a computer printout with my name, “Beth”, at the top. Curious, I began to read:

Beth…

Nice, Sympathetic, happy, great mom

My mom and friend

Who loves her children, my dad, and books

Who is afraid of losing another child, certain spiders, and mean animals

Who wants to see her children grow up, my dad get a good job, and us live

a successful life.

Resident of the moment

…<insert last name here>

She’d been telling us at dinner about Personal Poems, which she was learning about at school. This must be an example of just such a poem. It was intriguing to me to see how she views me. I am grateful for this glimpse into her mind. I am honored that she chose to write about me. This will be going into her scrapbook (or mine!)…it’s a keeper.

Thank you, J-in!

Congrats also go to my daughter, who is wrapping up her fourth grade school year this week. She made straight A’s for the fourth quarter, as well as having good citizenship and perfect attendance this quarter! She also was recognized for making all A’s and B’s all year (only ONE B all year!) and for having good citizenship all year! Way to go, J! We’re proud of you!

Lynn is a freelance writer and mother of four.  She authors the blog called Virtual Wordsmith where she explores her experiences as a writer,  interviews other authors, and also reviews books.  She also has a blog, Family in a Blender , which explores the joys and challenges of Stepfamilies, also known as Blended Families. 

wfg: Describe your family life.
Lynn: I am a happily married mother of four children, a daughter - just shy of 18, a stepson - 16, and two sons - 10 and 5.  We have a yours, mine and ours dynamic, as three of the children are from previous marriages or relationships, the youngest child being “ours”.  We do, however, refer to all of the kids as ours. 

wfg:  What special joys or challenges accompany having your children’s ages spread between almost 18 and 5?
Lynn:  There are so many joys it would be tough to choose just one. 
 
One of my favorite memories is of my daughter, holding my youngest son in her arms when he was just a baby, and dancing with him.  He was sound asleep on her shoulder and she was singing to him.  I had this super-imposed vision of her dancing with him at her wedding, with her head on his shoulder.
 
The challenges are many.  Each child is unique, and alike, in that they are all strong personalities and leaders in their own ways.  We run into issues with bedtimes, because the older two want to stay up later.  I run into issues with the 10 year old, because he wants to do the things the 16 year old does, but he’s not quite old enough yet.  Committing the entire family to one activity is also a trick, because the older two already have their own lives, with friends and jobs. 

wfg:  How would you describe your parenting style?
Lynn:  My parenting style is semi-attachment.  I breastfed all of my babies (the first two for 6 months each, the last for 9 months), but did not co-sleep.  I have been a stay at home or work at home mom for what seems like forever.  
 
wfg:  What are your hobbies?
 Lynn:  I love to read.  Lately I’ve had 2 or 3 books going at once, which is new for me.  Cooking is one of my great passions.  I also love to hike in the woods.

wfg:  What kinds of things do you like to cook?  Will you share a favorite recipe?
Lynn:  I love to bake.  Cookies, sweet breads, cakes, candies.  I do not bake breads, though.  I leave that up to my husband.  Yeast and I do not get along.  I also love to do the “home cooked meal” thing - Pot Roast, Turkey with all the trimmings, Soups, Roasted Chicken, Lasagna.
 
My favorite recipe is Guinness Pot Roast.  You can find the recipe here.

wfg:  Are you living the life you thought you’d be living?
Lynn:  I am living the life I envisioned, in many ways.  I always knew I’d have at least 3 children, I’d hoped to be married to someone who was my best friend and partner, and I wanted to raise my children in a small town.  I have achieved those things.
 
I didn’t expect to be living in the Mid West, raising a step child and only seeing my parents and siblings once every 5 years or so.

wfg: You said you didn’t expect to live in the Mid West:  What’s your favorite thing about living there now?
Lynn:  My favorite thing about living here now is the land.  Rich, dark fertile soil, beautiful and varying scenery no matter which part of Minnesota you travel, the power of the Summer storms, the quiet after a 12 inch snowfall.  If I had to live anywhere other than where I grew up, Minnesota is the best place I could have ended up.

wfg:  Describe your average day.
Lynn:  My average day begins with coffee and checking emails.  Then, I make sure the kids are up and out the door to school with everything they need.  Once the kids are on their way, I take a shower, wash dishes and prep things for dinner.  I do a couple of loads of laundry a day. 
 
The remainder of my day is spent reading, writing and researching for my blog and freelance writing.  I have surrounded myself with words, in one way or another, and I am loving my work!

wfg:  How did you decide to become a freelance writer?
Lynn:  I became a freelance writer because I’d read through magazines and think “I could’ve written that.”  I love words, I love playing with words, and I love sharing my thoughts with others.  I describe it as a compulsion. 
 
wfg:  What do you find most satisfying about being a writer?
Lynn:  As an avid reader, I find myself educated, entertained and moved by other people’s words.  If and when I accomplish those same things with my writing, I am elated.  I also love the research part of writing.  I am perpetually curious, a life-long student and writing gives me an outlet to discover information and then share it with others.

You can find out more about Lynn from her website and from either of her blogs. 

 Thank you, Lynn, for finding the time to talk to me about your interests and family!