Mom is Just a Nickname

Sometimes I just want to run away.  I think, “If I could just get away for two days and not have to worry about anyone but myself, I’d feel so much better!”  And then….

 I feel guilty.  I feel like it’s wrong for me to want to get away from my children.  I feel like I should be available to them when they need me, on their schedules not my own.  Or I feel like a bad mom for not always liking the way they are acting. 

 Sometimes, I feel bad that I will spend an entire day writing or blogging or reading and not spending time playing with the kids.  The four year old has recently become aggressive, both in action and words, and doing some reading online, it seems that he may feel that any attention (even negative) is better than none.  Maybe he is acting out to get attention.  He usually seems perfectly content to play alone, but then he will get aggressive towards his sister and us in the evenings. 

More mommy guilt.  This one, at least, I can do something about.  Athough I find the blogging and the writing therapeutic and the reading is a habit I just can’t break, I still need to take the time to praise the little man for good behavior. 

I’m not convinced I should feel guilty for wanting to be away for a chunk of time, though.  We all need breaks.  People who work full time outside the home can leave their jobs.  Mine is always there.  As a full time stay at home mom, I’m always on duty.  Even when my husband is home and takes on his share of parenting, there are still some things that Mommy must do.   I do not clock out when Daddy walks through the door for his shift.

Have you ever had Mommy Guilt?  What made you feel guilty?  How did you handle the situation? Was it something you felt deserved Mommy Guilt?